September 25th 2008

Having two kids was harder than I thought it would be.  The fact that they came just over a year apart likely had something to do with that...but I was getting better at it the older they got. In 2004 Morgan was 3 1/2 and Brooke was 2. I thought they were all grown up. They could talk,play with each other, feed themselves, sleep through the night and were reliably potty trained. I felt a sense of sanity settling in around me...so I did what any sane woman would do...I decided I desperately needed another baby.

 

2 energetic little girls...piece of cake :)

I am apparently blessed in the department of fertility. I realize that it truly is a blessing.  I was pregnant within a week or two of deciding I was ready for number three. I remember taking the pregnancy test and just knowing what it was going to show me...when the two pink lines appeared I smiled from ear to ear and did a little jump for joy ( a totally different reaction from the previous time I found out I was pregnant, sorry Brooke :)

We had recently moved to a state I had never thought of once in my life before I was told I'd be living there. New Mexico. I didn't know a soul when we arrived in the brown, brown, town of Santa Fe. My first impression was...what have we done & this place looks dead.  Eventually we grew to love it there, it's called the city different...and it lives up to the title. I miss the courtyards in front of adobe homes, turquoise gates with hidden gardens behind them and some of the best restaurants we've experienced.   As my pregnancy progressed I wondered who would watch my kids when I went into labor...I'd had family to help with the first two and my being an introvert has always made the friend making thing take longer than I would like.  I may be a quiet, keep to myself kind of gal, but I love extraverts.. they make fast friends and I was able to get to know some lovely, fun, trustworthy people within a year of living in Santa Fe.

I loved being pregnant. I felt miraculous and beautiful, and voluptuous ( after spending most of my life as a stick figure, feeling curvacious was a welcome change.)  I had asked my Dr. if she would induce me if I didn't go into labor by a certain time so that I could arrange to have a friend watch my girls. I was a little surprised at how willing she was to go along with it since that isn't the natural way of doing things and Santa Fe is very...granola.

Loved it.

When the prearranged date came, I dropped my daughters off at a friends house at the crack of dawn, and headed over to the hospital. When I arrived they put me in a side area behind a curtain and came back about 20 min later to tell me to go home. There was no room. Well, someone should have told me that my appointment wasn't actually an appointment holding a spot for me and that I should have called first. But I understood, I wasn't in labor. So I was back on my friends doorstep by 7 am to pick up my girls. I felt horrible for waking her up at 5 am only to come right back still pregnant...and then I had to ask her if she would do it again the next day. Sorry. So the next morning, I called the hospital around 4:45 to make sure there was room for me, they told me to come. Another crack of dawn drop off at my friends house ( thank you) and back to the hospital. I got a real room and a lovely nurse. It was September 25th 2008, my due date. They started me on pitocin and before long I was in labor.

I remember feeling like I was doing something really awesome with my day, not grocery shopping or cleaning...bringing a new human in to the world...time well spent.  I got an epidural as usual because I love them. When it came time to push I gave it all I got and she was out, in one big push. It was a little after 3 in the afternoon. Kate looked so sad and purple. She wasn't crying and she had her little fist clenched tight around her umbilical cord, holding on to that familiar lifeline like she could pull herself back into the womb I had just expelled her from.  My cold and confused little babe was laid on my chest...still too quiet and purple for my comfort, so I spoke up...  " Why is she purple?" " Why isn't she crying" on repeat until someone fixed it.  The nurses were so good and kind and rubbed my new baby's body with blankets until she was warmed and riled up enough to let out her first cry. The knot that had been swelling in my throat rose to the top and burst. I smiled and cried and loved her with my whole heart and soul.

See what I mean? Doesn't she look so sad :(  Jon is such a loving daddy.  Look at how tiny she is compared to his hand!

Kate, first day of life. She was an exceptionally cute newborn if I do say so myself.

 Kate was beautiful, healthy and the cherry on top of my family of little girls. I had an instinctive feeling that I was now done having babies. So I cherished every moment . The joy that was added to my life is indescribable. She was the easiest baby yet, so calm, drank her bottle like a champ,  would go right back to sleep at night. We were all smitten. It's surreal that 5 years has now past and I don't have any babies. I'm nostalgic, but not sad. I loved my years being a  Mom with little ones, but I am just so completely happy with my  family life that I have no feelings of wanting to change a thing.  Oh but I loved those babies! 

He big sisters were instantly in love.

Oh those squishy pink cheeks!

She would just smile in her bouncer for so long, happy as can be.